LAME ashley perks-of-being-chinese is amazing

dggeoff:

dggeoff:

my family got me a vibrating toothbrush that i can most definitely use to masturbate and finally get off gdi but the only problem here is that it’s got mike wasowskis face on it and i don’t know if im ready for that level of commitment

i did it. i did it and i hate myself.

ionlyfollowbadblogs:

Turn ons: common sense

hotwinger:

What do you MEAN I’m too competitive?! I’m not competitive! In fact, I’m the LEAST competitive. You wanna race? You wanna fuckin race to see who’s the least competitive?! Let’s fuckin race!

armadillo:

My mum said dinner was ready and I went into the kitchen and it wasn’t even ready I’m sick of all these lies, its tearing our family apart

magicaldeductions:

goddammit bill

akanedee:

if you ever call me annoying, even if it’s just jokingly, the chances of me ever speaking to you again are slim to none because I’ll be so afraid that every little word or sound that comes out of my mouth will aggravate you and make you cringe and hate my existence

jaaaaaaawn:

methdragon:

be there or 

image

That square is 5 bees by 6 bees I’ll have you know that is a bee rectangle you have failed

bewbin:

bewbin:

where is all my hate? I didnt get this famous for no hate!

image

first of all how dare 

cyberthug13:

me: hey im feeling sick today i cant come to skool

school office: why

me: im coming down w/ the dunk fever 

school office: u are lying

me: image

school office: wow i am a bitch, take 3 weeks off

mister-smalls:

nylooms:

tupacabra:

image

it’s a metaphor

The best part is that the crab is the symbol for the zodiac sign Cancer, so in a way even the crab itself is a metaphor

The Fault in our (Lob)Stars

cybersity:

i dont understand how people can just get tattoos without even giving it a second thought i cant even find the commitment to stick a sticker somewhere

dennys:

"Mmmmmmm." - Michael, age 42

dennys:

"Mmmmmmm." - Michael, age 42